‘Gossiping Bitches’ by Gossiping Bitches
Nas Asked for It…
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on March 2nd, 2007
Nas is like, the rest of us. He watches the video shows, listens to the radio, downloads mp3s from his favorite hip-hop blogs, and wonders what happened to all the rappers who could actually rap. On his new album, Hip Hop is Dead (If I Worked with Puffy, Here’s How I Did It…), Escobar lends mainstream credibility to the Just Naming Every Rapper You Can Think Of concept — mined recently by the likes of Edan and Quasimoto — with his song (and subsequent remixes of) “Where Are They Now.” On the track, Nas demands to know what became of various hip-hop figures from yestercentury.
Sandbox Automatic Debuts Newly Designed Website
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on February 28th, 2007
The way they tell it, it ain’t where ya from, it’s where ya @. And let’s be real: sandboxautomatic.com hasn’t been “at” anywhere for quite some time now. But all that is about to change, as we learned from this press release trumpeting the 2007 re-launch of sandboxautomatic.com:
Dear industry heads and people still using dial-up…
White People Collectively Make Same Lame James Brown Joke
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on December 30th, 2006
(AP) — Comedy took a blow on Christmas day this week as the world learned of the passing of music legend James Brown. Upon hearing obituaries claiming that there would be no disco or hip-hop without Brown, White people everywhere could be heard to reply, “Well, he couldn’t have been that great, then!” After a period of smug chuckling and high-fiving, White people returned to their bologna sandwiches, touch football games, and reminiscences on the “healing power” of Gerald Ford.
Lupe Fiasco “Totally Pissed” by Lack of GB Updates
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on November 28th, 2006
Chicago, IL — Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco has put erstwhile hip-hop blog Gossiping Bitches on blast on his own blog and in the media for not updating its site anymore.
“Where they at?” asked Fiasco in an interview published in September’s issue of Vibe magazine. “It was my favorite blog, and I read all of them! Shout out to Tom Breihan! But then they just went ghost after a while. In fact, it’s like that episode of Ghost in the … um … you know, it’s more like that part in Scarface where he couldn’t find his sister anywhere, and he ended up killing Manolo. Why’d he have to do that?! Manolo was his boy! I’ve got the Special Edition of that on DVD.”
In a July post on his personal blog, Fiasco regretted the site shutting down before he was able to blow up and get a mention in it: “Everybody who’s everybody gets dissed on there. A lot of people who’s nobody too (Sharkey? WTF?). All my favorites growing up. Like I used to listen all the time to Hieroglyph … well, mostly stuff like Scarface. I listened to him ALL the time. I’ve got the Special Edition of his last CD. People like him, Spice-1, Mac Mall, Mac D., D-Mac — those kinds of artists. Hardcore. I didn’t even know who A Tribe Called Quest was until some writer asked me about them. No really, I didn’t! LOL!”
Pete Carroll to Manage Jurassic 5
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on November 28th, 2006
Los Angeles, California — Anticipating a loss to Ohio State in the upcoming national championship game, University of Southern California head football coach Pete Carroll held a press conference today to announce his retirement from college football and his new employment as the manager of old-school reenactment troupe, Jurassic 5. “I could not be more pumped or jacked about this opportunity,” said Carroll.
After a disastrous tenure in the NFL, Carroll went on to lead USC to 34 consecutive wins and a national championship in 2004. “I feel like I’ve done all I can do in football and it’s time to move on,” said Carroll. “Being in LA the last few years I’ve made a lot of friends, many in the entertainment industry, so this really feels like a natural next step for me. I’m just incredibly pumped and jacked right now. The J5 and I are like-minded individuals — with a positive attitude, I think we can turn this thing around.”
Thug Rappers Outraged by Seinfeld Actor’s Rants
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on November 25th, 2006
The nation is still reacting to the shocking comments of actor/comedian Michael Richards at a Los Angeles comedy club last weekend. All talk of never-ending foreign wars and crippling economic inequality at home has been put aside, as Richards’ racist taunts have become Issue #1 on the national agenda, closely followed by Heisman Trophy winner O.J. Simpson’s equally shocking desire to make money.
White people have publicly gasped at Richards’ brazen use of the “n-word,” yet privately lamented their inability to say nigga at will. Cable news show hosts are balancing their outrage over the comedian with their outrage that O.J. didn’t come to them first. Gloria Allred has shown no change from her perpetual state of outragedness. Hip-hop blogs and message boards are in full agreement that this is the Face of Racism and we should all shun it with as much force as our keyboards can sustain.
Open Job Offer to Nick Sylvester
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on March 3rd, 2006
Gossiping Bitches proudly offers (former?) Village Voice/Pitchfork writer Nick Sylvester the position of associate editor. Not to say we need any new talent or anything; you’ll have to compete with several of the brightest writers on the web for precious space on a dynamic, constantly updating website. But the fact can’t be denied: we like your style.
“The 8 Mile of … ” Everything Coming Soon
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on January 30th, 2006
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted — one moment — would you capture it or just let it slip? Well, thanks to Hollywood, you’ll find out the answer to this question over and over again in the coming years.
In the first films about people trying to make it in hip-hop, the protagonists were either black (Krush Groove,
Thug Rappers Clamor for "Shiny Object #7"
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on January 28th, 2006
“Yeah, I may be coming back and whatever. I’m having sex with Beyonce. Def Jam doing alright. Young Jeezy moving units. Drug raps! Who would have thought it? But what I’m really most excited about right now is that I got an order for Shiny Object #7. I’m supposed to be one of the first ones in the world getting it. I think it’s like some prince in the Middle East and then me. This thing is gonna change the hip-hop game. Either you got it, or your career is over. Y’know?!”
It started with a comment from Jay-Z in the September issue of GQ. Jigga may be momentarily retired from the game, but his influence remains strong in the hip-hop community, as seen by the subsequent firestorm his remarks caused. Thug rappers everywhere rushed to their local jewelers to obtain this Shiny Object #7 without quite knowing what it was. They all left disappointed however, as there is still a cloud of mystery surrounding the unreleased Shiny Object #7, and few have any idea of what it is or how to get it.
Enter Gossiping Bitches, who was contacted last week by Cartier at our European Bureau. The jeweler confirmed that it was developing Shiny Object #7 and that Jay-Z will in fact receive one of the first ones made, but revealed little else.
GB Sells Out (Yet Again) to Nokia
Posted by: a Gossiping Bitch on January 9th, 2006
Gossiping Bitches proudly announces our joint cash gettin’ venture with Nokia, as part of their “It’s Your Life in There” ad campaign. Below, you will find various figures discussing one of the great joys of cell phone use: deleting the numbers of motherfuckers you don’t like anymore.